help me... i dont know what to do...

[JPaganel]

Prune ramen FTW! 

[TexasDave]

I think he should get on my Hardly with my Mity-Vac brake bleeder attached to his arse end. Between the vibration and the Mity-Vac something should start moving.     Dave

[Firehawk068]

If I don't have movement at least once a day, I start to feel like something's wrong..........................I'm usually a two-a-day'er   

[Bminder]

So Mike,
Give us an update.
Are things flowing again?
Do you work it out?
That's all the clever puns I can think of for now.

[The General]

Does Vegimite keep one regular? anyone, anyone, monkey...monkey...

Good, thoughtful question.

Vegiemite is actually a laxative according to this http://mueller_ranges.tripod.com/links/compendium/constipation.html
....I do know it`s a basted to clean off the toilet bowl!

Did you know that if you add a little vegiemite to your dogs drinking water it will stop those brown patches in your lawn!.....sorry a bit off topic there.

Of the recognised 100 useful tips for vegiemite I reckon number 62 might help our troubled man, while number 50 would be handy if you`re not a lib!. http://wowineverknewthat.wordpress.com/2013/11/

[TexasDave]

Does Vegimite keep one regular? anyone, anyone, monkey...monkey...

Good, thoughtful question.

Vegiemite is actually a laxative according to this http://mueller_ranges.tripod.com/links/compendium/constipation.html
....I do know it`s a basted to clean off the toilet bowl!

Did you know that if you add a little vegiemite to your dogs drinking water it will stop those brown patches in your lawn!.....sorry a bit off topic there.

Of the recognised 100 useful tips for vegiemite I reckon number 62 might help our troubled man, while number 50 would be handy if you`re not a lib!. http://wowineverknewthat.wordpress.com/2013/11/

I think you meant number 11.  Dave

[JoBrCo]

I don't know if anyone has mentioned this or not, as I skipped ahead so as to be quick, but the very best thing of all, that I have found is "Slippery Elm Bark."  It makes Metamucil look tame.  The only problem with usage is that it is so good, that if used regularly it can actually stop one from getting any nutrients at all.  It's both fiber and very slippery, actually sucking H2O from your intestines to aid in passing waste.  It is expensive though.  I got 1 pound of certified "organic" Slippery Elm Bark by Starwest Botanical's from Vitacost.com for $37.xx. It's now down to $28.xx.  The stuff really works, and tastes, at least to me, much better than it's sour cousin Metamucil.  I actually enjoy the woody flavor, as it's more like an exotic mushroom.

There is actually a condition that people can get as they age that reduces their natural sensing to drink plenty of fluids, especially water.  I think I have it.  It's important to ensure one gets plenty of H2O throughout the day. For me, at 255 lbs, I should get at least 128 fluid ounces, this is according to Livestrong.com, a very good resource that gets a lot of their info from the Mayo Clinic and other top notch sources.

Good Luck!

[Firehawk068]

There is actually a condition that people can get as they age that reduces their natural sensing to drink plenty of fluids, especially water.  I think I have it.  It's important to ensure one gets plenty of H2O throughout the day. For me, at 255 lbs, I should get at least 128 fluid ounces, this is according to Livestrong.com, a very good resource that gets a lot of their info from the Mayo Clinic and other top notch sources.

Good Luck!

I probably have this........................I typically do not drink anywhere near the amount of water that I should........

[mikedastonfj1100]

There is actually a condition that people can get as they age that reduces their natural sensing to drink plenty of fluids, especially water.  I think I have it.  It's important to ensure one gets plenty of H2O throughout the day. For me, at 255 lbs, I should get at least 128 fluid ounces, this is according to Livestrong.com, a very good resource that gets a lot of their info from the Mayo Clinic and other top notch sources.

Good Luck!

I probably have this........................I typically do not drink anywhere near the amount of water that I should........

damm I must be doing it rong too.... I only drink about 20 cups of water a day....

[novaraptor]

Isn't there kind of an unwritten rule that if you don't have a bowel movement for 4 weeks, you have to buy a harley?

[simi_ed]

I thought it was "If you don't have a BM for 4 weeks, you shit a Harley".  Maybe I misunderstood.  

[rlucas]

I thought it was "If you don't have a BM for 4 weeks, you shit a Harley".  Maybe I misunderstood.  

Shit a Harley, buy a Harley...either way, it's still a turd. 

[mikedastonfj1100]

How do I remove this thread??... 

[rlucas]

How do I remove this thread??... 

No, no, no!!! This thread is a milestone, one that will live in FJOC history! It needs to stay, so we can supply a "linky" for the n00bs!

[Pat Conlon]

Yeppers...This thread ain't going anywhere....it is a classic.

Mike, you may not be aware...but we have special software on this forum. This thread will automatically be forwarded to your children...and grandchildren...at the appropriate time.