Retirement Bonus

[Arnie]

RETIREMENT BONUS


The Navy found they had too
many officers and decided to
offer an early retirement bonus.
They promised any officer who
volunteered for Retirement a
bonus of $1,000 for every inch
measured in a straight line
between any two points in his
body..
The officer got to choose what
those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted
asked that he be measured from
the top of his head to the tip of
his toes. He was measured at six
feet and walked out with a bonus
of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted
was a little smarter and asked to
be measured from the tip of his
outstretched hands to his toes. He
walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a
non-commissioned officer, a
grizzly old Chief who, when
asked where he would like to
be measured replied,
'From the tip of my weenie to
my testicles.'

It was suggested by the pension
man that he might want to
reconsider, explaining about the
nice big checks the previous two
Officers had received.
 
But the old Chief insisted and
they decided to go along with
him providing the measurement
was taken by a Medical Officer.

The Medical Officer arrived and
instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,'
which he did. The medical officer
placed the tape measure on the tip
of the Chief's weenie and began to
work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed, ''Where are your testicles?''

The old Chief calmly replied,
''Vietnam ''.

[oz.fj]