FJowners.com

General Category => Non FJ - Jokes / Humor => Topic started by: rktmanfj on September 25, 2011, 08:39:12 AM

Title: Volume 1 now available
Post by: rktmanfj on September 25, 2011, 08:39:12 AM
And you thought it wouldn't be published within your lifetime!


With great satisfaction we inform you that the first volume of
"Basic Introductory Manual to Understanding Women" is now available.


(http://i643.photobucket.com/albums/uu159/rktmanfj/BasicmanualtoUnderstandingWomenVol1.jpg)
Title: Re: Volume 1 now available
Post by: Lotsokids on September 25, 2011, 09:38:01 AM
How many volumes are in the set?  :rofl2:
Title: Re: Volume 1 now available
Post by: Steve_in_Florida on September 25, 2011, 11:35:59 AM
Quote from: rktmanfj on September 25, 2011, 08:39:12 AM

With great satisfaction we inform you that the first volume of
"Basic Introductory Manual to Understanding Women" is now available.


(http://i643.photobucket.com/albums/uu159/rktmanfj/BasicmanualtoUnderstandingWomenVol1.jpg)


With all the changes, it's released monthly!

Title: Re: Volume 1 now available
Post by: 1tinindian on September 25, 2011, 12:53:24 PM
Quote from: Steve_in_Florida on September 25, 2011, 11:35:59 AM
Quote from: rktmanfj on September 25, 2011, 08:39:12 AM

With great satisfaction we inform you that the first volume of
"Basic Introductory Manual to Understanding Women" is now available.


(http://i643.photobucket.com/albums/uu159/rktmanfj/BasicmanualtoUnderstandingWomenVol1.jpg)


With all the changes, it's released monthly!



Well, at least every 3 weeks!
Title: Re: Volume 1 now available
Post by: Mark Olson on September 25, 2011, 12:56:07 PM
you are killing me with that. :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2:
Title: Re: Volume 1 now available
Post by: simi_ed on September 25, 2011, 02:08:03 PM
That's the abridged version ...
Title: Re: Volume 1 now available
Post by: andyb on September 25, 2011, 11:18:09 PM
Jeez, it's not like I read the instructions with anything else I own....
Title: Re: Volume 1 now available
Post by: Dan Filetti on September 26, 2011, 04:55:37 AM
Quote from: andyb on September 25, 2011, 11:18:09 PM
Jeez, it's not like I read the instructions with anything else I own....


:rofl2:

And therein lies the problem -no?

Dan
Title: Re: Volume 1 now available
Post by: FJTillDeath on September 26, 2011, 05:19:27 AM
I'd hate to see how big the volume for "when shes in that time of the month" would be

Personally I dont trust something that bleeds for 5-7 days and doesnt die :sarcastic:
Title: Re: Volume 1 now available
Post by: andyb on September 26, 2011, 09:21:44 AM
Quote from: Dan Filetti on September 26, 2011, 04:55:37 AM
And therein lies the problem -no?

Dude, you must be single.  It's like the manual for the car... if you leave the drainplug out after an oil change, it tells you about it right away.

If I do something wrong with my wife, she tells me.  Right away.  :diablo:
Title: Re: Volume 1 now available
Post by: terryk on September 26, 2011, 10:02:04 AM
HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN EVERY TIME:
Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize,
serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate,
stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify,
protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to,
forgive, sacrifice, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate,
entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, show equality for, spackle, oblige,
fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, trust, grovel, ignore,
defend, coax, clothe, brag about, acquiesce, aromate, fuse, fizz,
rationalize, detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge, polish, upgrade, spoil,
embrace, accept, butter-up, hear, understand, jitterbug, locomote, beg,
plead, borrow, steal, climb, swim, nurse, resuscitate, repair, patch,
crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm, allay, kill for, die for, dream of,
promise, deliver, tease, flirt, commit, enlist, pine, cajole, angelicize,
murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle, elevate, enervate, alleviate, spotweld,
serve, rub, rib, salve, bite, taste, nibble, gratify, take her places,
scuttle like a crab on the ocean floor of her existence, diddle, doodle,
hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, crystal blue persuade, flip, flop, fly, don't care
if I die, swing, slip, slide, slather, mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize,
humidify, lather, tingle, slam-dunk, keep on rockin' in the free world, wet,
slicken, undulate, gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble, drip, dry, knead,
fluff, fold, blue-coral wax, ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle, amaze,
flabbergast, enchant, idolize, worship . . .
and then go back, Jack, and do it again.
HOW TO SATISFY A MAN EVERY TIME:
Show up naked.
Title: Re: Volume 1 now available
Post by: Dan Filetti on September 26, 2011, 07:03:30 PM
Quote from: andyb on September 26, 2011, 09:21:44 AM
Dude, you must be single.  

Uh, Andy, you simply could not be farther from the reality....

I meant, that even if something like this were to exist, most of US would not bother to read it anyway, and there would therefore be strife between the two sexes anyway.

Jokes are not as funny if you need to explain them.

Dan
Title: Re: Volume 1 now available
Post by: FJmonkey on September 26, 2011, 10:09:12 PM
Quote from: andyb on September 26, 2011, 09:21:44 AM
Quote from: Dan Filetti on September 26, 2011, 04:55:37 AM
And therein lies the problem -no?

Dude, you must be single.  It's like the manual for the car... if you leave the drainplug out after an oil change, it tells you about it right away.

If I do something wrong with my wife, she tells me.  Right away.  :diablo:
Dude, you are lucky, my wife saves it all up and then turns it into an Armageddon. Angels and demons flee to avoid her, I have to take time to get my gear on and warm up the the old 86' before I can fly. If I were rich, I would hire a crew to keep the FJ warm and ready for scramble at Defcon 1. Might look funny with my leathers on all weekend and after work but it might be worth it... :biggrin:
Title: Re: Volume 1 now available
Post by: Lotsokids on September 26, 2011, 11:27:46 PM
A comedian said his wife was going through menopause. He warned his son and said, "Son, Mom is going through some changes, so beware... she might laugh, then cry, then try to stab you in the hand with a fork."