Monkey

[Harvy]

A guy walks into a bar with a monkey .    The monkey grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them . Then he grabbed some sliced limes and ate them .  He then jumped onto the pool table and grabbed one of the balls . To everyone ' s amazement, he stuck it in his mouth and somehow swallowed it whole .

The bartender looked at the guy and said, "Did you see what your Monkey just did?"
"No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table . . . whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn ' t surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight, don ' t worry, I ' ll pay for the cue ball . "
The guy finished his drink, paid his bill, paid for the stuff the Monkey ate and left .

Two weeks later the guy came back, and had his monkey with him .    He ordered a drink and the monkey started running around the bar .    The Monkey found a maraschino cherry on the bar .    He grabbed it, stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and then ate it .

Then the monkey found a peanut, and again stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it .    The bartender asked, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No, what?" replied the man .
"Well, he stuck both a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!"

"Yeah, that doesn ' t surprise me," replied the guy .
"He will eat anything, but ever since he had to shit out that cue ball, he measures everything first . "

[Mark Olson]

damn, i've been telling that joke for over 30 years . did it just now make it to your side of the world?

[Firehawk068]

Does Mark M. know about this?

[FJmonkey]

Does Mark M. know about this?

No, don't tell him.... He hates Monkey jokes...

[Steve_in_Florida]

"He will eat anything, but ever since he had to shit out that cue ball, he measures everything first . "

That's universally good advice. It's important to learn from the past!