The Queen and The President

[Harvy]

As Air Force One arrives at Heathrow Airport, President Obama strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen. 
They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central  London, where they change  to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white  horses.
They continue  on towards Buckingham Palace, waving to the thousands of  cheering Britons; all is going well.

Suddenly the right  rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth  shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire. The smell is  atrocious and both passengers in the  carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart shakes  the coach, but the two dignitaries of State do their best to  ignore the incident.
The Queen turns to President Obama, " Mr. President,  please accept my regrets...
I am sure you understand there are  some things that even a Queen cannot control."
Obama, always  trying to be "Presidential," replied: "Your Majesty, do  not give the matter another thought...
Until you  mentioned it, I thought it was one of the  horses."

[nurse]

slightly off topic but just as funny:

Lady Astor: "Winston, you're drunk!"

Winston Churchill: "But I shall be sober in the morning and you, madam, will still be ugly."

Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your tea."

Winston Churchill: "Madam, if I were your husband, I'd drink it."