A Letter To Naysayers

[Klavdy]

The below is taken from "Hell For Leather" magazine, sums it up neatly.

Let me stop you right there, mmmm-kay? I can tell by that little intake of breath what's coming next. Thank you in advance, but I already know that motorcycles are "dangerous." After nearly twenty years of riding on the streets, I am aware; telling me now will not be a revelation. It is not an insight into my lifestyle that has remained hidden from me until this, the moment of epiphany when you shine the light of outsider wisdom on my foolhardy choices.

Photo: Grant Ray

There are ways I can minimize the risk — by riding defensively, riding sober, knowing my own and my machine's capabilities, etc. — but I also know there are some risks that are simply beyond my control. But you know what? There a lots of risks that are within my control. We've become so pathologically risk-averse that for most people it is inconceivable to assume any additional risk no matter how much joy you might get back in return.  

You want to know what's truly dangerous? Not taking any risks. Hanging out with like-minded middle-of-the-roaders. Absorbing the same brain-ossifying shit from media factories every day. Jogging. Putting helmets, flotation devices, and auto-deploy epi-pens on your kids every time they leave the house. Passivity. Not paying attention to where your car, or your life, or you country is going.  

If you don't get that, that's OK. I'm not trying to convert anybody, but here are a few tips to save us both a little aggravation:

You don't need to tell me the horror story about your uncle's buddy who wiped out his chopper while drag racing at some hooligan rally. That just makes me wish I were talking to your uncle's buddy instead of you. He sounds pretty cool.

Do not — do NOT — tell me about the time you almost Sausage Creatured a biker because you "couldn't see him" or he "came out of nowhere." I have never known a bike to come out of nowhere, but I have seen plenty of cars pull a Crazy Ivan and turn into a lane occupied by a biker or make an impromptu unsignalled left turn in front of an oncoming me. If you're expecting me to share your outrage at the temerity of bikers to be in the lane you want, you're more deluded than a goldfish with a passport. I can't make you see bikes. I can't make you hang up your phone. They won't let me mount a .50-caliber machine gun to my bike. So really, there's not much I can do to change the outcome of your anecdote, so save it for your coreligionists who also have stick-figure families and giant softball stickers with the name "Tailyr" or "Flynn" or "Shyly" on their rear windows.

I do wear a helmet, as a matter of fact, along with other protective gear. But, the fact that you "certainly hope" I wear a helmet is so condescending it makes me want to ride a tricycle completely naked doing doughnuts in your front yard screaming Beastie Boys lyrics at midnight. Trust me, you do not want that. My buttocks are extremely pale and unsightly, especially in moonlight.

Please, do not complain about bikes parking in car parking spaces. Where are we supposed to park? If they let us park up on the curb like in Europe, we would totally do that, and precious few parking lots have motorcycle parking areas. Most cops already have a hard-on for bikes, so parking anywhere but in a designated spot is asking to be impounded.

Yes, I know, some bikes have very loud exhaust. Maybe it's obnoxious, but at least you knew they were there, didn't you? They say loud pipes save lives. I don't know if that's true, because there hasn't been a serious comprehensive study of motorcycle safety since 1981, the poetically named Hurt Report. And yes, I know, at one point you probably saw some kid riding his 600cc sport bike at 100mph doing a wheelie down the freeway. He's a squid, and he'll either grow up or just take care of himself. Some bikers do crazy things. Anti-social things. Unsanctioned things. I don't represent him and he doesn't represent me — that's the great part of being a biker.  I could be a Lowbrow Weirdo or Antoine Predock or Lyle Lovett or just whatever I want to be.

If you're really so all-fire concerned about my safety, don't preach at me. Just do me this one favor:  pay attention when you're driving. Keep your greasy fingers off your touch-screen, put down your phone, use your turn signals and lay off the booze before you get on the road with me. You take care of your part and I'll take care of mine.

But hang-gliding, man, that shit is crazy.

Carter Edman is an architect, writer, and rider in Cleveland, Ohio. He teaches "Motorcycles and American Culture" and other courses at Case Western Reserve University.

[ddlewis]

round here we call them things "murder-sickles".  Get it?  cuz they'll kill ya. hyuk.

[FJmonkey]

round here we call them things "murder-sickles".  Get it?  cuz they'll kill ya. hyuk.

My company makes wheelchair lifts for vehicles, we call them that ride, future customers....

[roverfj1200]

In a world looking to blame someone. Good to take stock and make a informed choice.

And only if we all did how sweet would the ride be.


Cheers.

[WestOzXJR]

If you live your life in fear of getting hurt or killed by the things you really wanna do (so therefore are not doing those things), then you're a dead man walking anyway.

[fj11.5]

so very true mate 

[rktmanfj]

This just might be the best thing you've ever posted.   

[Klavdy]

What about the time I posted the photo of you and the horses ass?
That was pretty good.

[Firehawk068]

Awesome Post!
I certainly know the risks. I see them all the time, but for Me, The joy outweighs the risk by a far margin.............
When I'm leaned-over running through that canyon, rolling on the throttle out of the corner, heading for the next one...........I feel  very much ALIVE!


by the way.........You were missed by ALL at the rallies. See you at the next one.

[gripit_N_ripit]

.
When I'm leaned-over running through that canyon, rolling on the throttle out of the corner, heading for the next one...........I feel  very much ALIVE!

+1

[baldy3853]

  Shit Klav I finally thought you had written something worth while only to find out it was someone elses 
Nice post tho Bud, tis too true they don't or won't pay attention then blame us for them not seeing us!!
Baldy

[SlowOldGuy]

  tis too true they don't or won't pay attention then blame us for them not seeing us!!

Kind of like the dickhead not paying attention to what he's doing, (picking his nose/ass or texting) either sitting at the green light or maybe drifting into your lane.  So you give a short horn burst to snap him back to reality and .... he shoots YOU the finger!

Sorry, I didn't know it was my fault that your an asshat.  Makes me wish I had my old '75 Malibu back and just plow into them.

DavidR.

[MyFirstNameIsPaul]

In San Jose, Calif., it was actually illegal for many years to park a motorcycle anywhere - even in car parking spots, except of course private parking lots. This was a real issue downtown because there are virtually no private parking spots except around the SJSU campus, which might be a mile from your destination. Many riders actually got tickets. I never got one because I would find some spot on a building's property and rarely do building management actually impound smartly parked motorcycles (might be some VP of a tenant). A few years ago the city actually agreed to create some motorcycle only parking spots, which was amazing because nobody on the city council rode and of course only a very small number of people were complaining considering the city has a population of nearly 1 million.

[bigbore2]

Many people live in fear of many things- life is about overcoming obstacles, fear being one of them, otherwise how can one grow?  I moved away from my birthplace [smalltown USA] to live in a larger city [200,000].  I thought I would get away from the old thinking , never change, never grow.  Well that thinking is EVERYWHERE, I found out. But I don't mind as long as I can do as I please, without messing anyone else up.
In New Mexico, we are a no helmet state, as IT should be. Decide for oneself how to ride, take more or less responsibility.  At the same time, the law says that I need to use a seatbelt in my car.  Nope, got a couple tickets for that and then I decided to put in a fake strap to look like I am wearing a seatbelt.  I have no reason to not follow the law 99% of the time, but I don't need the a law telling me to I HAVE to protect myself by wearing one.  That is my own decision. Ride on, my brother.

[moonrunnah]

Many people live in fear of many things- life is about overcoming obstacles, fear being one of them, otherwise how can one grow?  I moved away from my birthplace [smalltown USA] to live in a larger city [200,000].  I thought I would get away from the old thinking , never change, never grow.  Well that thinking is EVERYWHERE, I found out. But I don't mind as long as I can do as I please, without messing anyone else up.
In New Mexico, we are a no helmet state, as IT should be. Decide for oneself how to ride, take more or less responsibility.  At the same time, the law says that I need to use a seatbelt in my car.  Nope, got a couple tickets for that and then I decided to put in a fake strap to look like I am wearing a seatbelt.  I have no reason to not follow the law 99% of the time, but I don't need the a law telling me to I HAVE to protect myself by wearing one.  That is my own decision. Ride on, my brother.

in maine and nh you only need a helmet when you have your permit but other than that you dont need one, in nh if your 18 or older you dont need to wear a seat belt, it should be your own choice to make