Management definitions of engineering terms

[Arnie]

Engineering Terminology

A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED - We still haven't the faintest idea of what to do.

AN EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM - We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION - We know who to blame.

MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH - It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.

CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED - We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.

PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE - The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING - We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.

THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED - The only person who understood the thing quit.

IT IS IN THE PROCESS - It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.

WE WILL LOOK INTO IT - Forget it! We have more than enough other problems for now.

PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL - Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up.

GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING - We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.

GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION - I can't wait to hear this bull!

SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS - Come into my office, I'm lonely.

ALL NEW - Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.

RUGGED - Too damn heavy to lift!

LIGHTWEIGHT - Lighter than RUGGED.

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - One finally worked.

ENERGY SAVING Achieved when the power switch is off.

LOW MAINTENANCE - Impossible to fix if broken.

[Mark Olson]

ha ha ha 

[craigo]

ha ha ha 

Yeah, what Mark said. 

Thanks Arnie,

CraigO