Hell Explained

[rktmanfj]

True or not, it's still funny...



HELL  EXPLAINED

BY A CHEMISTRY  STUDENT


The  following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona

chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.





The answer by this student was so  'profound' that the professor shared it

with colleagues, via the  Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the

pleasure of enjoying  it as well :



Bonus  Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic

(absorbs  heat)?



Most  of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas

cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. 



One student, however, wrote the  following:



First,  we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we

need to  know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at

which  they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume

that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls  are

leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the  different

religions that exist in the world today.



Most  of these religions state that if you are not a member of their

religion,  you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions

and  since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project

that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we  can

expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now,  we look at

the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law  states that in

order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay  the same, the volume

of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are  added.



This  gives two possibilities:



1.  If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls

enter  Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all

Hell breaks loose.



2.  If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in

Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes  over.



So  which is it?



If  we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year

that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take

into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two  must

be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already  frozen

over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen  over, it

follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is  therefore,

extinct..... ...leaving  only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being

which  explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.' 


THIS STUDENT  RECEIVED AN A+. 

[Kopfjaeger]

 

[irishluck]

thats actually pretty damn funny

[Mark Olson]

Great joke 

[gripit_N_ripit]

Bravo

[axiom-r]

Thanks for this one!  Had to borrow it and show it around myself!