Ride report, Man on a Mission!

[ribbert]

I went  for a ride today, I had just pulled over for my last stop before heading home when all these girls pulled up on bikes.



Watching them attempting to reverse park was comical and for most, involved one or two assistants.

There was much giggling and laughter amongst them over their attempts at parking, followed by the really tricky part, getting the side stand down without the bike falling over. The one that let the clutch out in gear after parking it with the motor running brought another round of raucous laughter as the bike shot forward and fell on it's side.

None of these girls had ever met before this morning as the ride had been organised on social media. They were clearly having a great day and enjoying much camaraderie.
It was truly scary observing their lack of skills at low speed wobbling and lack of controls coordination.

After some good light hearted banter, they suddenly realised that it was me who was riding the FJ parked nearby and mobbed me with all sorts of salacious suggestions, and I don't even have USD forks. I said I was truly flattered and could understand the attraction but I had no time for such frivolous shenanigans, I was a man on a mission, I had set out expressly to get my bike dirty to post a photo for Bones and would have to pass as the riding had so far proved fruitless in that regard, maybe some other time.
They were disappointed but understood.

One of the reasons it always looks clean is because it's always getting dirty, really dirty......

Noel

C'mon Noel, you know the score, Pics or it didn't happen.

We settled instead for me taking photos of them all. I had half a dozen iPhones and three cameras shoved in my hands. I set all the phones down to my left then placed them on my right after taking two photos on each. I took about 6 photos on each camera.
I then fanned the iPhones out  like a hand of cards for the owners to identify them.

It is possible I imagined the offer of group sex or misunderstood the heavily accented German, as they had the appearance and behaviour of "batting for the other team"

Either way, we had a lot of laughs for half an hour and it was a fun interlude in the day.

I then returned home a defeated man. My best efforts at getting a photo of my bike dirty had failed.


(Post ride photo)

The thing's just so damned shiny nothing will stick to it! 


On a serious note, they seemed totally oblivious to the dangers of their activity and from what I had witnessed of their low speed riding and parking skills, lack of protective clothing and the one who didn't even have her open face helmet fastened (just like in the movies) the thought of them wobbling and weaving out into the heavy late afternoon traffic was terrifying. I hope they all got home in one piece.

Noel

[roverfj1200]

Nice one......

[Bones]

Sounds like you met the local chapter of "Dykes on Bikes" Noel, a bunch of lezzo bike riders, they've got groups Australia wide I think. Makes sense that they don't know how to manhandle bikes real well, they've never being umm...handled by a man.


As for pictures of your bike dirty.

[ribbert]

Sounds like you met the local chapter of "Dykes on Bikes" Noel, a bunch of lezzo bike riders.....

No doubt.

As for the dirty bike, if it rains on the way to the Rally, you can write your initials on the exhaust with your finger and I'll post the photo.

Noel

[ZOA NOM]

I think I could flip the redhead with the glasses.

Nice report, Noel

[movenon]

I have to complement you on your bike Noel. Makes me want to go out and get the dirt and mud off from the last ride in Oct.  But seriously that is a beautiful bike.  Nice picture of your friends there.  I can't believe they even gave you the time of day considering you didn't have USD forks. 
As for there riding skills we all had to start somewhere.  Interesting it was there first ride together and met up on social media.
Cheers  George

[andyoutandabout]

Consider yourself fortunate to have tangled with dykes on bikes and not wangs on wheels or those suspect Suzuki troopers, bandits on bandits. The German branch of sausage jockeys on scooters are only mildly more terrifying than the chopper chewers of China. etc etc.

(Disclaimer - it's all in fun folks, I live near San francisco so I've seen more than would be considered enough. Besides, all this PC gone mad here in California, can be rather stressful to a man raised on Benny Hill.)

Andy

[ZOA NOM]

Consider yourself fortunate to have tangled with dykes on bikes and not wangs on wheels or those suspect Suzuki troopers, bandits on bandits. The German branch of sausage jockeys on scooters are only mildly more terrifying than the chopper chewers of China. etc etc.

(Disclaimer - it's all in fun folks, I live near San francisco so I've seen more than would be considered enough. Besides, all this PC gone mad here in California, can be rather stressful to a man raised on Benny Hill.)


Andy

+1 I feel you, man.

[aviationfred]

Great story Noel. 

Between your travel report and Andy's comments, I had a good laugh. 


Fred

[Mark Olson]

Great report Noel, Makes me believe I need to take more pictures when I ride ... would make for some great entertainment. There is always somebody doing something picture worthy for a laugh.

[jscgdunn]

It is my belief that Noel tosses his reins (keys) to his groom upon dismount, who then shampoos and brushes the old girl down as Noel sips tea. As he does not like to polish himself.  I have seen this guy (the groom) in his shop standing motionless awaiting his next command. I am sure the groom has accidentally slipped into the odd picture by mistake, but we know he must be there by how clean the bike it.  All of this is further reinforced Noel's celebrity status in his local area, as evidenced by his latest ride report. (He is better known as "Downunder Richard Branson"). 

[TexasDave]

It is my belief that Noel tosses his reins (keys) to his groom upon dismount, who then shampoos and brushes the old girl down as Noel sips tea. As he does not like to polish himself.  I have seen this guy (the groom) in his shop standing motionless awaiting his next command. I am sure the groom has accidentally slipped into the odd picture by mistake, but we know he must be there by how clean the bike it.  All of this is further reinforced Noel's celebrity status in his local area, as evidenced by his latest ride report. (He is better known as "Downunder Richard Branson"). 

            

[gumby302ho]

Consider yourself fortunate to have tangled with dykes on bikes and not wangs on wheels or those suspect Suzuki troopers, bandits on bandits. The German branch of sausage jockeys on scooters are only mildly more terrifying than the chopper chewers of China. etc etc.

(Disclaimer - it's all in fun folks, I live near San francisco so I've seen more than would be considered enough. Besides, all this PC gone mad here in California, can be rather stressful to a man raised on Benny Hill.)

Andy
   Fuck my guts are rolling,   thats the best yet on here for me, thanks Andy, I want to buy you a beer!    Don

[ribbert]

It is my belief that Noel tosses his reins (keys) to his groom upon dismount, who then shampoos and brushes the old girl down as Noel sips tea. As he does not like to polish himself.  I have seen this guy (the groom) in his shop standing motionless awaiting his next command. I am sure the groom has accidentally slipped into the odd picture by mistake, but we know he must be there by how clean the bike it.  All of this is further reinforced Noel's celebrity status in his local area, as evidenced by his latest ride report. (He is better known as "Downunder Richard Branson"). 

What can I say, sprung! I will take more care checking the background of my photos in future and btw, that's Sir Richard Branson.
I just hope word doesn't get out that he also repairs my bike and writes my posts for me.

Very funny Jeff.

Noel

[X-Ray]

Noel! Gees man you get us (I mean me ) all worked up with thoughts of loose biker women approaching you with less than pure motives,...... and it turned out to be all innocent.