Laws they don"t teach in physics

[TexasDave]

Laws They Don't Teach in Physics: 


1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2.Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

3.Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4.Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

5. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

6.Law of the Bath   - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

7.Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8.Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

9.Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10.Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

11.The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12.Murphy's= Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

13.Law of Physical Surfaces -
The chances of an open- faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

14.Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.

15. Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

16.Law of Public Speaking -- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!

17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!

18.Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.



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[Pat Conlon]

19. Architectural Law:

The smallest, most innocuous change you make to the plans, is a change that affects every sheet, and every detail of the drawings....

Hey people.......we all know a few examples....let's list them here.

[Fj.itis]

20. Intersection law: You could be on the most quiet road in the world, but when you get to an intersection there is always a car coming when you want to turn.

21. Rainy day law: When something you really look forward to doing and it always rains, ruining your plans.

[Dan Filetti]

20. Intersection law: You could be on the most quiet road in the world, but when you get to an intersection there is always a car coming when you want to turn.

21. Rainy day law: When something you really look forward to doing and it always rains, ruining your plans.

21a. If you plan for rain, go out of your way to ensure you have the best rain-gear, having seen a forecast that predicts copious amounts of rain, but decide to ride anyway, you will get less rain than you expect.  Hell, it's even possible you'll get no rain whatsoever.  Antithetically, the less you plan for rain, the higher the chance you will actually get it...

[fintip]

I experienced 21a today. Exercised my foolhardiness by saying 'screw it, I wanna ride, I have rain gear and even a bike cover if necessary' in spite of 70% rain forecast.

Result? Flawless weather.

[Flynt]

let's list them here.

Diablo Canyon Nuclear Power Plant in San Luis Obispo area of coastal CA...  do you recall they had a major blow-up (pardon pun) over seismic readiness just after the plant was completed?  They designed unit #1 properly with seismic loading calculations and the resulting accommodations for what would happen if the big one hits.  For unit #2 (mirror of unit #1 to make a nice layout) they just mirrored the mounting scheme...  think about this a little and you'll see how stupid that is unless a "mirror" fault shakes #2 exactly mirroring what #1 feels, but I digress...  Fact is the plants were approved and built before the need to retrofit of properly designed seismic restraints was discovered, but not before commissioning.  They had to replace all unit #2 seismic restraints ASAP, so new ones were designed, built and installed allowing the plant to finally make some juice only a few years late.  PG&E was losing $$$ over this and were throwing money at the problem to get it fixed...  the good old days!

Frank

[Fj.itis]

22. Tig welding law: States that you will always run out of gas at the most in opportune time, usually when shops are closed or in a hurry to finish a job.