10 reasons why NZ is better than Australia

[tmkaos]

We kept it to 10 because after that all you blokes started to run out of fingers and get all confused, and whilst that was funny, it was also kind of cruel. 

1. We're more friendly. Everyone comments on this. It starts the moment you get off the plane, and continues every time you walk into a store, sit down for a coffee, or pass someone on the street. In Sydney, you don't acknowledge anyone you might meet unless you already know them. Even smiling at a stranger is considered odd. Here, you're practically smothered with affection.

2. Small is beautiful. Australia is every bit as beautiful as New Zealand. It's just a shame you have to travel thousands of kilometres between sights. Take it from someone who drove 23,000kms in four months – and that was only between Sydney and Perth. Here, you only have to pop round the corner for the scenery to change.

3. Our houses are cheaper. OK, there are people in some Auckland suburbs who may disagree with this, but for the most part, it's cheaper to buy a home here than it is in Australia. Sydney is unbelievably expensive. Anyone who isn't a millionaire or a major CEO can't afford to buy an actual house unless it's some 80km west of the CBD. And forget about a garden unless you earn well into six figures.

4. Our food and drink is better. Yes, a big call I know. Australia markets itself very effectively as a gourmand's paradise. But for my money, our produce is fresher, our meat tastier, our ice cream creamier and our fish, er, fishier. If you're a beer connoisseur you'll be sadly disappointed in Australia unless you're a fan of freezing cold, mass-produced lager. Granted, they make a decent drop of red, but their white wine is rubbish. And we've got way better lollies.

5. We love our indigenous culture. You've got to leave New Zealand to fully appreciate this, but our Maori heritage is an immense asset. I'm as white as the driven snow, but I treasure what Maoridom and Pacific Island culture has done for New Zealand. It makes us proud, strong, independent, and interesting. By contrast white Australia all but ignores its Aboriginal roots.

6. We're not so uptight. Big-city Australians are wound as tight as watch springs. Out in the bush it's better, but Kiwis are world-beaters at laconic, she'll be right laid-backness. And she normally is right. No point having a heart attack, is there?

7. We're more entrepreneurial. Australia may have a bigger economy, but we're lighter on our feet. Because we have a small, educated, enthusiastic population of early adopters, New Zealand is a great place to start a business, further your career, or do something different from the herd. And because there's only 4.5 million of us, it's easier for our voice to be heard. Hardly surprising that we've invented so much more stuff than the Aussies ever have.

8. There's fewer things that can hurt or kill you. Don't underestimate this. Australia is home to all ten species of the world's most poisonous snakes. Then there's spiders the size of your hand, sharks cruising the beaches, scorpions, sting-rays ... oh yes, and the world's most dangerous reptile, the crocodile. We've got, um, stinging nettle. And wekas can give you a nasty peck.

9.  Our TV's better. Hard to believe, I know, but it's true. We may all grumble about the box, but Aussie television is truly dire. Between The Block, The Project, Bondi Vet and Border Patrol, there's Lara Bingle!, The Shire, and re-runs of Prisoner. It's just a shame they export most of those shows over here. Next to this lot, Seven Sharp looks like hard-hitting current affairs. Plus, we've got John Campbell.

10. The weather. Australia's either too hot, too cold, or too wet. Thanks to climate change, Sydney alternates between floods and bush fires. Queensland suffers increasingly volatile storms. The Outback and Western Australia simply fries. We enjoy a temperate climate with plenty of sunshine and rain.



It's Waitangi Day tomorrow, so just in case anybody was planning on visiting, we're closed for the day.  But if anyone does make it in, please turn out the lights on your way out, ta...


James 

[ribbert]

James, you should send this to the 60,000 Kiwis that moved permanently to Australia last year alone.

NZ had the same number of births over that period and the birth rate is in decline.

Australia currently has 700,000 Kiwis here. If they continue to arrive at the above rate and renew at the same rate simple arithmetic will tell you it will indeed be very peaceful in a few years with free housing.

BTW, you forgot Blue Ringed Octopus in No.8 and should have included Lara Bingle, Neighbours and Home and Away in this category.

I could offer an opinion on all of your points but I think the figures speak for themselves, anyway it's time for my afternoon nap.

Noel

[FJSpringy]

got an email from one of our offices in NZ today saying it was a public holiday tomorrow, so we setup a sales call that they have to dial into, they are going to be pissed when they find out they are the only ones on the call 

[The General]

  Cometti Cometti    Sure love them welcomes with the lap slappen, tattooed faces of teeth & tongue.

Ummm...Got no idea who John Campbell is (Does he make soup?) but gotta agree with ya on items 9 & 3.

I guess you`d have ta be light on ya feet with those balls and I gotta admit your Savi blonks are pretty close to the Margaret river. But tha last six words on item 4 is a violation of the crossditch treaty. --- Get your arse over here and say that! - Our musk sticks will see your Black knight`s cherry ripe any day  - so stick that up ya fruit jube and squiggle!!!   Happy Waitangi day James. 

[Horse]

  Fair cop!!!! But when ya need that extra straight bit of road to check ya top end jetting you just can't go past our Nullabour Plain .........  

[Arnie]

James,

I can agree with almost all you say, NZ is very friendly, amazingly beautiful, and has some lovely women.
But when you start to compare danger, there may not be any poisonous snakes,
how can you forget those rattles of the very earth that shake down Cathedrals?
The roads are spectacular, and being there without a bike made my stomach hurt. 
But, what do you do about the short riding season?  The place is covered in snow for much of the year.
NZ, a great place to visit, I just wouldn't want to live there.

Arnie

[ribbert]

James,
Despite my earlier tongue in cheek comments, NZ is a beautiful country.

I met a German guy a few years back who had nailed it.  He had travelled the world 9 mths of every year for business for the last 29 years. Having seen every corner of the globe many times over he retired to Australia ( 3 properties ) and bought a motor home ( Winnebago ) which he left parked in NZ and flitted between countries at his leisure. Money did not appear to be a problem!
Noel

[Chromaxe]

....and you have Middle Earth... My dream holiday is to take the family back over and do the motorhome thing for 3-4 weeks with a bike trailer carrying the FJ. An hour up the road and back again every morning before they all fall out bed... everyones a winner...

[mr blackstock]

Interesting discussion,

But just ask any kiwi currently in Australia for thier reasons, and you will have a hard time stopping them at 30 reasons why Australia is better.  Good reasoning concerning the population of kiwis in Australia...speaks volumes.

One thing better that Australia, the roads.

cheers, Gareth

[FJ111200]

....and you have Middle Earth...

Shit!  I thought Middle Earth was somewhere near Birmingham, UK, as that was where J.R.R. Tolkien was brought up and wrote his book about his home area.

[NJona86FJ]

give it to ya... and your right about the telly... saw an Un Zud program called Outrageous fortunes?  like an R rated soap opera...... dead funny