for non-Aussies

[Harvy]

Rural Aussie Computer Terminology:


A  little bit of Aussie culcha -


LOG ON:                    Adding wood to make the barbeque hotter
LOG OFF:                   Not adding any more wood to the barbeque.
MONITOR:                 Keeping an eye on the barbeque.
DOWNLOAD:            Getting the firewood off the Ute.
HARD DRIVE:            Making the trip back home without any cold beer.
KEYBOARD:               Where you hang the Ute keys.
WINDOW:                    What you shut when the weather's cold.
SCREEN:                     What you shut in the mosquito season.
BYTE:                            What mosquitos do.
MEGABYTE:              What Queensland mosquitos do.
CHIP:                             A pub snack.
MICROCHIP:              What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.
MODEM:                      What you did to the lawns.
LAPTOP:                      Where the cat sleeps.
SOFTWARE:               Plastic knives & forks you get on an airplane.
HARDWARE:              Stainless steel knives & forks - from K-Mart.
MOUSE:                        The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.
MAINFRAME:               What holds the shed up.
WEB:                               What spiders make.
WEBSITE:                     Usually in the shed or under the verandah.
SEARCH ENGINE:     What you do when the Ute won't go.
CURSOR:                    What you say when the Ute won't go.
YAHOO:                         What you say when the Ute does go.
UPGRADE:                   A steep hill.
SERVER:                     The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
MAIL SERVER:        The bloke at the pub who brings out the counterlunch.
USER:                           The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.
NETWORK:                What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.
INTERNET:               Where you want the fish to go.
NETSCAPE:              What the fish do when they discover a hole in the net.
ONLINE:                   Where you hang the washing.
OFFLINE:                   Where the washing ends up when the pegs  aren't strong enough.

Harvy

[FJmonkey]

I just sent that to my Aussie wife's email, I think she will get a good chuckle from it. More Vegemite!!! Crap that might start another oil thread......Never mind.......as you were...

[Mark Olson]

thanks for the laugh Harvy.

[Kopfjaeger]