Funny mechanical stories

[andyoutandabout]

My trio of mechanical disasters are not all directly my fault:
The first was - I managed to crack the crankcase on my DT175 by tightening the drain plug instead of loosening it, forgetting I should have be thinking loosey lefty but upside-down. Fixed with JB weld, but made future oil changes a challenge.
The second was a questionable friend mechanic who said he knew what he was doing, putting my GS550 engine back together. Don't matter he said when I pointed out that the Haynes manuel said that the links between the exhaust and inlet cams have to be this number. Tried to start engine - clatter clatter clatter - well that's all the valves bent and probably a piston or rod done.
The third - to add insult to injury on the poor GS550 - a shop tried to fix the thing by transplanting the engine. They ordered the wrong item - a newer model which took CV carbs. They tried to combine rubber boots and wedge the slide carbs on with liberal use of hose clamps - yes this was a shop - and yes they weren't in business for long afterward.
I think out of all three, my own mistake was the least costly to put right. Since then, I've always done my own stuff - er except the bits I can't, which is when Randy takes over. So far, so good.
Andy

[ApriliaBill]

I recently had a Seca 900, that you guys gave me plenty of help with, anyway, I needed to rebuild the front forks. It had an antidive system, I bought rebuild kits and fluid. A friend always wanted to see how to rebuild forks, so I invited him over. I really did a good job, he was impressed by the way I rigged a vice with a modified shelf brace to disassemble the forks. I cleaned everything up, rebuilt and replaced all the various seals (remember interesting early antidive system) and reassembled everything. My friend thought I was brilliant. I put the tubes back in the trees, measured my new synthetic fluid out and filled the forks.... Suddenly it was an ice skating rink in my garage. Mr. brilliant here forgot to put the drain plugs back in.

When I was a young man, I saved my $ and went out to the (Socal guys will know) famous Bert's cycles and bought a bitchen 750 Honda, with a custom air brushed paint job. I got up Monday a.m. and rode my jewel to work to show off to the guys. About a few blocks from work it really started to run badly. I get to work and immediately pull the plugs which were pretty tired. Being I was working at a parts supply place, I just went inside and pulled new ones. Nothing, bike won't start and I'm going through every system. Finally after hours of checking stuff and pissing off my coworkers who are covering for me, one of my buddies walks out, flips on the reserve and fires the bike. Yes, I can be that big of an idiot....