FJowners.com

General Category => Non FJ - Jokes / Humor => Topic started by: pdxfj on February 24, 2010, 06:26:34 PM

Title: HOME REMEDIES
Post by: pdxfj on February 24, 2010, 06:26:34 PM
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS. 
Title: Re: HOME REMEDIES
Post by: Kopfjaeger on February 25, 2010, 02:34:16 AM
thats gold!!! rofl rofl :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Title: Re: HOME REMEDIES
Post by: racerman_27410 on February 25, 2010, 10:37:48 AM
definitely words to live by
Title: Re: HOME REMEDIES
Post by: Mark Olson on February 25, 2010, 11:51:51 AM
funny, thanks for the laugh.